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You're Doing The Best You Can

When you're overcoming abuse, there will sometimes be days when you feel yourself slipping into a state of depression. I call them D-Days. That's those days when you find it difficult to get out of bed and go about your daily routine. You lie there engaging in an internal battle between your body and your mind. You want to get up and get things done, but the thought of doing anything is just as exhausting as the task itself. Then you end up beating yourself up for not having the strength to function, which causes you to become even more depressed.


I'm all too familiar with the feeling because I lived it for years. And honestly, I still have those days from time to time. Fortunately, I've found some effective ways to deal with them. I'm often consulted by victims/survivors regarding ways to deal with these difficult days and my advice to them is to just roll with it. Now, let me explain what I mean by this.


When you know in advance that it's going to rain, you can properly equip yourself for the rainy day. Being adequately prepared for the situation helps to eliminate a lot of stress. But imagine if a rainstorm hits at a time when you least expect it. That situation can be frustrating and overwhelming because you don't have the proper equipment to deal with it. Under no circumstances can you control the rain, but you can control how you deal with it by accepting that rainy days will come and preparing yourself for when they do.


Well, the same applies when coping with depression. You can't control when those D-Days will come, but you can control how you deal with them. First, you must accept the fact that D-Days will present themselves on occasion. By accepting the idea, it gives you the upper hand and allows you the opportunity to adequately equip yourself so that you can still be productive...even on your worst days.


I, personally, set aside little goals that I can accomplish from the comfort of my bed. And they are usually things I enjoy doing, like creating graphic designs for upcoming events or offering moral support to the Queens in Healing Hearts Domestic Violence Support Group. Everything I need to perform my D-Day tasks are kept close to my bed so that they are always within reach. So, on those mornings when I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a Mack truck, I can focus my attention on accomplishing those simple tasks and have the pleasure of scratching something off my to do list. By preparing in advance for my "disrespectful, popping up unannounced" D-Days, I can stay in bed and not feel bad about it because I'm still being productive.

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